Saturday, September 18, 2010

Sew-In and a spider

Last night was kind of a modified Sewing Party. the absolutely wonderful Mrs P linked to Friday Night Sew-In, I didn't because I forgot. So we had a kind of party, emailing each other every hour or so to encourage each other.
My contribution to the night was hand sewing the binding to the back of a quilt.

Everything was going perfectly, I accomplished quite a bit.


Now I have to warn you scaredy cats that don't like creepy crawlies, avert your eyes now, go off and have a coffee and don't come back until my next post. I am slightly concerned that if I post this I will turn away thousands of potential travellers to our fine land. Also don't read any further if you don't like swearing, it has been sensored, but....................

I spotted this.

take a look, doesn't look that big does it, but that is about 3.5 metres (11 ft) away up above my head. Here's a close up.

I wasn't too bothered by it, until I took a pic with a flash,

Look at it's eye, shining brightly in the middle of it's head, that gave me the creeps.

The emails went back and forth like this (heavily sensored as I don't want  people to think that Mrs P and I use anything but polite language.)

Me:Look what I just saw when I came back in  

Mrs P: Grab the Pea Beu and kill that ######. 

Me: Don't worry I have just used half a can on the #######. It's about 3-4
inches across. The cats are going crazy now.

Mrs P: Your cat looks possessed...

Me: I can't go to bed now until that ####### dies. It's only about 10  
metres from my bedroom, that's way too close for me.

Mrs P: Stuff a towel under your's going to die. A horrible death. Like
agent orange for spiders horrible.  It usually only takes 5 minutes. 

Me: It's taken freaking longer than 5 mins, and it has only looked pissed  
off, not even looking like its in its final death throws.

Mrs P:  ( a very helpful comment here from her at this stage)   Maybe it's a super spider and you just gave it extra powers with the spray?
It's probably sending out subliminal messages to all the spider friends and
theyre converging on your house as we speak...

Me: I think I'm going to die from fly spray poisoning before that nuclear  
######## does. Maybe its a cockroach in a spider suit. 

Mrs P: Can you see a zip? If you can see a zip it's in fancy dress...

Me: I'm not getting that ######### close.  You can come over and have a look if you like, or maybe send Michael.

A few minutes later. 

Me: I went over to watch TV while i was waiting for it to die and it  
followed me over......#########

Mrs P:  OMG it's STALKING you.

Another quarter of an hour later.

Me: It hasn't moved for ages now, fingers crossed

Mrs P: It ‘s probably faking it- if you go to bed – it will get into your booze cabinet. You don’t want to be confronted by an drunk surly spider at 3 am do you?

Me: You're making me cry, I am going to have nightmares. Not my booze cabinet aaaaahhhhh!

Me: Oooh oooh ooh it's sort of twitching slowly, I think that is a good sign. EIther that or he is getting ready to jump on me.

Me: I'm going to bed, if you don't hear from me in the morning, you know I have been attacked by a mutant spider that has got super spider powers from being sprayed with a couple of litres of fly spray.

Good night. I hope I wake up in the morning ( without a spider staring at me) now I'm freaking myself out. If you don't hear from me call the police.


Me: I survived the night, mwaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
I got the #######, still wondering whether it was a cockroach in a spider suit though,

Does that look like a zip to you?

Mrs P:  Oh Thank God. I got up hoping there would be an email from you  to let me know you were OK. 
If there wasn't I was calling the police immediately.


  1. I don't find your conversation the least bit unusual! I had a similsr encounter the other night too . They are on the move with Spring coming. By the time I got back with the spray can and the camera it was gone!!!
    Coated the whole area with spray the retreated to another room so I could breathe. Found it dead 2 days later.
    Memo to self: buy a dozen cans of spray and leave them strategicly placed all over the house.
    Give me a snake any day!

  2. Oh No, no, no! I didn't need that before my first coffee of the day. I know you gave a warning of clear and present danger - but more fool me I couldn't resist!

  3. And that's exactly the way it happened folks. And now you know how much bad language I really use.

    So glad you survived the spider attack Marg, so you might blog about it and out us both as potty mouths.

    (I have never laughed so hard as I did last night when we had those emails flying back and forth and again today when I read this post)

  4. You two had me ROFL!!! I used to get upset about those spiders until I moved to the tropics and now that one was just a baby :-)

    PS My cat minnie knows the spider call and comes running and she actually eats them for me...Super cat! Unfortunately she now lives outside and Hamish is a dead loss. I came home to a dead mouse inthe house today and I think it died of old age not from Hamish although my youngest rewarded Hamish for the efforts...he is like Garfield, like he needs food! PS did you get any sewing done??

  5. Oh dear, that is one freakin' big spider. What kind is it? Size-wise it reminds me of a tarantula, but the ones we have here in the States are furrier than that.

    Confession: While I don't like spiders in my house (they get confused about whose house it actually is), I do find them a bit fascinating. Can you imagine having 8 eyes?

    Anyway, I'm glad you didn't have to confront a drunken, mutant, ninja spider in the morning.

    The quilt is looking great btw. I enjoy binding because it's the final step before DONE!

  6. Almost fell about laughing we live in the country out behind you in fact I can see the hills behind Caloundra down the valley from our house. Do you think the spiders from here go there or vice versa....I had one that big the other day...they terrify me. Everyone says leave them they wont harm you...Nooooo I dont believe that.

    ...visitors comment on the fact that there is a tin of flyspray by the doorway of every room in the house..
    Advice: buy shares in the fly spray business i will make you wealthy.

  7. Hilarious! Easy for me to say, safely here on the other side of the world. Glad Mrs. P was offering such helpful and colorful phrases to ease your pain.

    And my daughter gets upset at spiders the size of a pinhead--I can only imagine how loud the screams would be if she saw one of these! I don't even own a can of fly spray.


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