Sew-In and a spider

Last night was kind of a modified Sewing Party. the absolutely wonderful Mrs P linked to Friday Night Sew-In, I didn't because I forgot. So we had a kind of party, emailing each other every hour or so to encourage each other.
My contribution to the night was hand sewing the binding to the back of a quilt.

Everything was going perfectly, I accomplished quite a bit.

UNTIL

Now I have to warn you scaredy cats that don't like creepy crawlies, avert your eyes now, go off and have a coffee and don't come back until my next post. I am slightly concerned that if I post this I will turn away thousands of potential travellers to our fine land. Also don't read any further if you don't like swearing, it has been sensored, but....................

I spotted this.

take a look, doesn't look that big does it, but that is about 3.5 metres (11 ft) away up above my head. Here's a close up.

I wasn't too bothered by it, until I took a pic with a flash,

Look at it's eye, shining brightly in the middle of it's head, that gave me the creeps.

The emails went back and forth like this (heavily sensored as I don't want  people to think that Mrs P and I use anything but polite language.)


Me:Look what I just saw when I came back in  

Mrs P: Grab the Pea Beu and kill that ######. 




Me: Don't worry I have just used half a can on the #######. It's about 3-4
inches across. The cats are going crazy now.

Mrs P: Your cat looks possessed...


Me: I can't go to bed now until that ####### dies. It's only about 10  
metres from my bedroom, that's way too close for me.

Mrs P: Stuff a towel under your door...it's going to die. A horrible death. Like
agent orange for spiders horrible.  It usually only takes 5 minutes. 

Me: It's taken freaking longer than 5 mins, and it has only looked pissed  

off, not even looking like its in its final death throws.

Mrs P:  ( a very helpful comment here from her at this stage)   Maybe it's a super spider and you just gave it extra powers with the spray?

It's probably sending out subliminal messages to all the spider friends and
theyre converging on your house as we speak...

Me: I think I'm going to die from fly spray poisoning before that nuclear  

######## does. Maybe its a cockroach in a spider suit. 

Mrs P: Can you see a zip? If you can see a zip it's in fancy dress...

Me: I'm not getting that ######### close.  You can come over and have a look if you like, or maybe send Michael.

A few minutes later. 

Me: I went over to watch TV while i was waiting for it to die and it  

followed me over......#########

Mrs P:  OMG it's STALKING you.

Another quarter of an hour later.

Me: It hasn't moved for ages now, fingers crossed

Mrs P: It ‘s probably faking it- if you go to bed – it will get into your booze cabinet. You don’t want to be confronted by an drunk surly spider at 3 am do you?

Me: You're making me cry, I am going to have nightmares. Not my booze cabinet aaaaahhhhh!

Me: Oooh oooh ooh it's sort of twitching slowly, I think that is a good sign. EIther that or he is getting ready to jump on me.

Me: I'm going to bed, if you don't hear from me in the morning, you know I have been attacked by a mutant spider that has got super spider powers from being sprayed with a couple of litres of fly spray.

Good night. I hope I wake up in the morning ( without a spider staring at me) now I'm freaking myself out. If you don't hear from me call the police.

THIS MORNING

Me: I survived the night, mwaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I got the #######, still wondering whether it was a cockroach in a spider suit though,

Does that look like a zip to you?

Mrs P:  Oh Thank God. I got up hoping there would be an email from you  to let me know you were OK. 
If there wasn't I was calling the police immediately.